Chiaroscuro Lyle Themyst (chefmongoose) wrote,
Chiaroscuro Lyle Themyst

Quick Green Lantern thoughts.

I and some other folks were talking about Green Lantern, and the question comes up: "Why doesn't Sinestro just, say, drop a taxi on his head?"

Our calculated Taxionnahead reactions:

Alan Scott, Taxionnahead: "OOOF" Alan wakes up in the next panel, unharmed but tied to a wooden chair.
1960's Hal Jordan, Taxionnahead: "I'll grab this iron oxide powder and throw it with a power beam at the taxi! Now I can handle this! (Ed. Note: Iron oxide turns yellow paint blue, due to an amazing chemical reaction!)
1980's Hal Jordan, Taxionnahead: Hal drops flat to the ground and lets it land harmlessly just above him. He makes a joke about traffic in Coast City.
John Stewart, Taxionnahead: He breaks it apart into umpteen million pieces via the transmission, carefully keeping yellow body panels balanced against metal. He makes a joke about taxis never stopping for black guys.
Guy Gardner, Taxionnahead: Guy punches the muffler and makes the whole taxi fly up and off him. He makes a lame joke about no tip.
Kyle Rayner, Taxionnahead: Spins the whole taxi in his palm on the right hind wheel going "Uhm, you know the wheels aren't yellow, right?" Then he has woman trouble.

--Chiaroscuro, okay, most of you will have no idea what I'm talking about. That's okay.

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